The Race Begins

There you are. The World has been waiting for you to finally arrive. Nevermind that you are 4 yrs late with no reasonable explanation or excuse. At last your Great Race to enter into the mainstream society can begin. Let us go over the things you'll need in order to keep up. By the way, the weight may become a little heavy so you'll have to work even harder. Are you ready? Good. Please see to it that you receive these items most promptly and do not delay any longer.

1. An education---If you have misplaced or do not receive this item please skip items 2-4.

2. A Career---Doesn't matter if you hate it because this item is bound to be recalled at least 5 times throughout the rest of the Race.

3. Money---This item is quite interesting...While some of you may start w/ plenty of this item, in which case congratulations, most of you will not. While we will not directly give you this item your first two items should combine and this item will be its byproduct. Good luck with this one.

4. Health---While this item can be misleading in and of itself, it's importance is undoubtedly one of the largest factors in the Race. An inability to continue to live will be an automatic disqualification and your name will be stricken from the record. Your items named above already will play a large factor in the quality of this particular item. But then again you never know, please expect the unexpected while undergoing this race.

5. Family--- This item has particular value during the Race. Some find it helpful and comforting, while others forgo this item altogether. The ones that forgo this item are missing out on a big bonus...For when you can no longer Race your offspring are legitimate and valid replacements allowing for you to carry on vicariously through them. Thereby not being stricken from the record, but still disqualified. Good for those that are missing item #1.

6. Will & Determination--- While this appears to be two items, they go hand in hand, hence them being considered only one. This item is yet another one that we cannot provide for you, but may be the linchpin to a good finish. If you find this item along the way please be sure to have it with you at all times and under no circumstances give it away.

Now that you have all necessary items please regard the rules to this magnificent and perilous race. The rules are as follows: You may go any direction at any time for any reason. If you are confused you can ask for help, though expect none. You may voluntarily quit at any time for any reason, doing so is grounds for immediate disqualification and stricken. Any other items along the way may be picked up and discarded at your leisure. Finally, you are under no obligation to help any contestant for any reason at any time.

Good Luck.

Love and Kisses,
Management