A Crappy Day

Ever wonder, "why the hell did I get up today?" If so, you my friend are among millions who think that very same thought each and every day. Congratulations! The planet, karma, bad choices, bad people, coincendences, whatever it is that you blame. Just know that more are coming.

The Crappy Day is a fixture in our society that will never disappear because somehow, someway it will find you and hunt you down like the dog you are. You cannot stop it and it will not be preventable. Moons and stars will align so that a cosmic death ray scorches your ass just when you needed it to least do so. And as you finally rest your head on that miserable day and are content; you sleep restlessly knowing that the aftershocks of the ginormous fart that landed on you today will be felt for the next few proceding days to come. Wonderful! Yet me and my discouraged people, we'll strive everyday to make sure that it never happens again. But take solace in the reality that there are magnificently beautiful moments that are forever burned in the mind.

So to the Crappy Day I say, Fuck You. I acknowledge your presence then dismiss you like a serf caught stealing livestock. I focus on the joys of my life, taking comfort that no matter how shitty of a day I have it can never take away my most excellent. My loving soon to be wife, god bless her, is what I use to hold on to. I recommend that everyone find a piece of goodness in their life.

Finally, say a prayer for the good days and hold on during the bad ones. It truly is a rocky road my fellow contestants. In today's race a dropped a couple positions, but I'm not out. I still can run baby, and I'm going for gold.

The Soundtrack of Your Life (No Refrences to Dick Clark)

NOTE TO THE READER: I am quite aware that this idea which I am going to present has definetly been thought of before and written about. I DON'T CARE.

Today, while engrossed in brainless work, I had a marvelous and intriguing thought. What if you could have the songs you most enjoy played during the crucial, life-altering turns that will make up your life? Would this in any way affect the decisions that you would make during that pinnacle moment? Imagine your 16 and you boost the family ride for a "space cruise" with the gang; and "Born to Be Wild" comes into mind like stero 5.1 or perhaps "Perfect Crime" starts blaring through your eardrums.

Could the sound of that music possibly change your decision or merely reinforce? Enough of that tangent...Let's say you could make the movie of your life, what songs are immediately entered in. I'll go for top ten songs that would have to make an appearance no matter what.
I'd be interested in knowing other people's top ten as well.

My Top Ten: The Soundtrack of my Life

Fuel-- "Shimmer"
Bad Company-- "Bad Company"
Peter Gabriel-- "Salisbury Hill"
Grateful Dead-- "U.S. Blues"
Rusted Root-- "Send Me on My Way"
Weezer-- "Undone" (The Sweater Song)
Black Crowes-- "Remedy"
Korn-- "Blind"
Bob Dylan-- "Subterranean Homesick Blues"
Phish-- "Bathtub Gin"

The Race Begins

There you are. The World has been waiting for you to finally arrive. Nevermind that you are 4 yrs late with no reasonable explanation or excuse. At last your Great Race to enter into the mainstream society can begin. Let us go over the things you'll need in order to keep up. By the way, the weight may become a little heavy so you'll have to work even harder. Are you ready? Good. Please see to it that you receive these items most promptly and do not delay any longer.

1. An education---If you have misplaced or do not receive this item please skip items 2-4.

2. A Career---Doesn't matter if you hate it because this item is bound to be recalled at least 5 times throughout the rest of the Race.

3. Money---This item is quite interesting...While some of you may start w/ plenty of this item, in which case congratulations, most of you will not. While we will not directly give you this item your first two items should combine and this item will be its byproduct. Good luck with this one.

4. Health---While this item can be misleading in and of itself, it's importance is undoubtedly one of the largest factors in the Race. An inability to continue to live will be an automatic disqualification and your name will be stricken from the record. Your items named above already will play a large factor in the quality of this particular item. But then again you never know, please expect the unexpected while undergoing this race.

5. Family--- This item has particular value during the Race. Some find it helpful and comforting, while others forgo this item altogether. The ones that forgo this item are missing out on a big bonus...For when you can no longer Race your offspring are legitimate and valid replacements allowing for you to carry on vicariously through them. Thereby not being stricken from the record, but still disqualified. Good for those that are missing item #1.

6. Will & Determination--- While this appears to be two items, they go hand in hand, hence them being considered only one. This item is yet another one that we cannot provide for you, but may be the linchpin to a good finish. If you find this item along the way please be sure to have it with you at all times and under no circumstances give it away.

Now that you have all necessary items please regard the rules to this magnificent and perilous race. The rules are as follows: You may go any direction at any time for any reason. If you are confused you can ask for help, though expect none. You may voluntarily quit at any time for any reason, doing so is grounds for immediate disqualification and stricken. Any other items along the way may be picked up and discarded at your leisure. Finally, you are under no obligation to help any contestant for any reason at any time.

Good Luck.

Love and Kisses,
Management